so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
only if we run a train.
done.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize