I hope mine doesn't look like that
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
