i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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