I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
