I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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