And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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