wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
