No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize