Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
