'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
