It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
bring money and cleavage
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
