I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
