This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
