I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
