Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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