At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize