I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I will be naked everywhere
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
