she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize