May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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