Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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