Quick, to the slutcave!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
