clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
