who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
