somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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