we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
