Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize