ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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