girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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