The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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