after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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