i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
