Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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