just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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