Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
