Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
