Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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