Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
