We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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