I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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