Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
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Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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