well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
