hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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