so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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