i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
