i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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