my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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