is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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