He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
