My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
