Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
