That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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