Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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