dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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