please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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