I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
