I wanna bring you to show and tell
i would punch a child for taco bell
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
