apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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