so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize