there's paper in my vomit.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
